I love what this says about what you need to do about your emotions, such as anger and frustration, which I experience daily. Baby may be the cutest most adorable person in the world but that doesn't mean it's a breeze being happy and patient with him all the time. I have a very quick temper, and to say I am one of the least patient people in the world is being generous. However Baby makes me want to be a better mum, which will hopefully translate into a better person overall. I've realised I have been able to tell Baby when I'm feeling unhappy, or angry (note I never say you made me unhappy/angry), and just giving voice to my emotions gives me a moment to help me act less irrationally in response to those emotions (such as yelling at Baby, or using excessive force :-( ). This is the space that this article (and others I've read) talks about, between action and reaction. I've learned to recognise when the anger starts to bubble up inside me, but I still need to find a way to expand the space between action and reaction. I'll let you know once I've found the switch for that lightbulb.
When you do realise what triggers these emotions too, it's such a relief, because then you realise how unnecessary the anger and frustration was. A few weeks ago I was putting Baby down for his morning nap but he just refused to sleep and for some reason I felt myself get overly frustrated with him for no reason at all. When I thought about why I was feeling so grumpy I realised it was because I wanted him to nap so I could make myself a coffee and just enjoy a few moments of quiet time to myself. It was a particularly late morning nap that day so my usual morning coffee looked to be thrown out the window with his refusal to go to sleep. At that moment I realised I just have to make my coffee every morning at the same time, regardless of whether Baby has gone down for his nap or not. And since I started doing that, I have never felt frustrated when he decides he doesn't need his morning nap. This may make me appear to be a coffee addict, but I assure you it's more about having some sort of morning treat for me, rather than needing the caffeine, really...
It's articles like these that make you realise parenting is just one long journey of learning, one journey that I am so thankful to be able to have.
When you do realise what triggers these emotions too, it's such a relief, because then you realise how unnecessary the anger and frustration was. A few weeks ago I was putting Baby down for his morning nap but he just refused to sleep and for some reason I felt myself get overly frustrated with him for no reason at all. When I thought about why I was feeling so grumpy I realised it was because I wanted him to nap so I could make myself a coffee and just enjoy a few moments of quiet time to myself. It was a particularly late morning nap that day so my usual morning coffee looked to be thrown out the window with his refusal to go to sleep. At that moment I realised I just have to make my coffee every morning at the same time, regardless of whether Baby has gone down for his nap or not. And since I started doing that, I have never felt frustrated when he decides he doesn't need his morning nap. This may make me appear to be a coffee addict, but I assure you it's more about having some sort of morning treat for me, rather than needing the caffeine, really...
It's articles like these that make you realise parenting is just one long journey of learning, one journey that I am so thankful to be able to have.
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