judgement

Before Baby came into my life, I was that person who silently judged other mums.

When I have a baby he won't be screaming like that in public.
When I have a baby he will be so much better behaved.
When I have a baby he will not meltdown and have tantrums.

Ah, how little I knew then. I know now we're all the same, we're all mums doing our best to raise these little people who are so dependent on us. I know I have a strong and wilful baby on my hands who is on the cusp of becoming an even stronger and more wilful toddler. I know he is intensely spirited and all that is inside him is bursting to be let out. I don't know what the coming years hold, but I do know that judgement has no place in my life.


On an ultra tangential side note, I just read that saying 'do your best' creates anxiety in kids as it is not specific enough.... really???

beautiful beethoven

I initially started this blog so I could capture the wonderful experience of living in London and travelling around Europe. Obviously that didn't happen. But one of the many reasons I love living in London is that there is so much going on all the time, all over the place - you just have to keep your eyes open. Yesterday afternoon Baby and I were treated to a free concert at the small church just down the road. I always walk past this church and one day I noticed they were hosting a performance of Beethoven's violin concerto in D major the coming Friday. Thankfully, everything was running smoothly for Baby and me that morning so after lunch I packed him up and walked down hoping they would let us in. They did, and we were treated to some truly beautiful music that afternoon. I would have been happy with an amateur performance, but it was actually a chance for the violinist (Sebastian Mueller) to run through the concerto before performing it with an orchestra in Europe somewhere (I forget where...) later this year. It was just a piano (rather roughly) taking the place of the orchestra on Friday, but being able to sit and listen to Beethoven's violin concerto played so beautifully on a Friday afternoon with my baby boy, is something that is quite unique to living in London I think.

consent

Finally, a post that is not a quote! I want to remember this article as these are the types of things and concepts that I'm only vaguely aware of, if at all, and I need something concrete to work from for when baby gets older. Growing up we never had any conversations like these, so I can't draw from any personal experience. I just have to learn as I go and hope that my best is enough, as is the case with pretty much everything. It's only since becoming a mum that I've realised how painfully deficient my upbringing was.

More excuses

I know it seems like I'm just collecting quotes now, but I do have hopes of one day (soon!) writing something myself, rather than reprinting other people's words. Although this does seem like a good place to collect all these wonderful quotes, these quotes that make my heart swell with their eloquence and poignancy.

I love my friends neither with heart nor with mind
Perchance ... Heart stops ... Mind forgets ...
I love my friends with my soul.
It never stops, nor forgets ...
- Rumi

"We all need that person, someone who sees our light. The one who reflects our light back at us so we can see it too."
- Janet Lansbury via positive-parents.org

So beautifully written. So very true. But is it restricted to the role of parent? I also think of you when I read this. And I hope and strive to be that person for my baby.

the gate of the year

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”
And he replied: “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”